At what point is a friendship no longer “important, relevant, worth pursuing”? Or is it just a perception? Are we all too caught up in our lives to not keep in touch just because? Can we be surprised by who might step-up to the plate in a time of need (whatever that maybe) and who might not? All those questions come up in my mind on a regular basis as I continue my journey in our very turbulent world and also maybe because I see friendship as a safe heaven, a harbor one can throw his/her anchor in calmer waters. How often do you throw your anchor?
Friendship out-of-step February 3, 2011
Oops, I forgot to publish this…last summer. So here it is. Yesterday was a very gloomy, rainy day and I basically spent the day thinking. While seating at my kitchen table I was reading an article in the latest issue of More magazine on the evolution of friendships through one’s life. It’s a subject that keeps creeping up in my thoughts again and again. As we “finish” raising our children and they move out, how do we walk the path and explore this new territory? Some are in the process of sending their next child to college and feeling another bird is flying away from the nest wanting to take in every precious moment to help them get settled into their new environment before heading back home and feeling the void on one side and the pride of having done the very best to bring the child to this time. The next big separation first pre-school and then college. Today is the beginning of February and we just survived one of the biggest winter storms and we are all reaching our breaking point. Snow, snow and more snow, then sleet and ice and more snow….As I awoke this morning to go teach my very early yoga class after dropping my son and his friend at work, I find that the biggest challenge in those uncertain times is to accept what we cannot control, be present, be kind to ourselves and others. Being on the mat forces us to do just that for that slice of time. While my students were in savasana (corpse/rest pose), I was seating in sukhasana or easy pose, calmer but the thoughts kept coming. Being in my mid-life along with many of my friends, we’re faced with new challenges and decisions. For those of us who came to this country for love, for exploring new horizons and stayed adding to the fabric of this country, for career opportunities, for the love of travel, we are now re-assessing and thinking what’s next? Children are leaving or left the coop, spreading their wings and navigating adulthood while still needing us, we think of our aging parents far away, of our siblings who are also in that next stage and the tug we feel in our hearts and souls to be closer. What to do? Is it easy to pick-up and go back after 15 or 20 years to one’s birth country? Can we feel at home again? Does one have to “relearn” how to live in the country where one was born? Though technologies such as Skype, Facebook etc… have reduced distances, it’s difficult to stop by for dinner or to go to a movie or to land a hand when thousands of miles away. America is far, very big and it can be overwhelming even after many-a-year here. So to all my friends who like me built their life here, I salute you, cherish your friendship and am amazed by your strength and resiliency in the face of adversity. We’ve been through highs and lows, and lows and highs again and again, have weathered many storms, have laughed and cried, have retreated into ourselves to regroup in order to come out stronger. 2011 began and seems to be for many a soul searching one.
Until my next post, stay well and very belatedly to all: HAPPY & HEALTHY & SOULFUL NEW YEAR!
Staying in touch… August 7, 2010
Well, it seems I’ve not stayed in touch through this medium for quite some times. I’m not sure why exactly but here I am on a perfect summer day, blue skies, a nice breeze…perfect. Time is running away and August is well on its way. After a little yoga at home, my husband and I went on a nice bike ride on the Minuteman Bikeway to keep the momentum for our very active vacation last week. We came back last weekend from 7 days in Breckenridge (Colorado) where we met up with friends from all over the country we had not seen in quite some time, for a very fun and active vacation week. We come together for each other in good times and bad….Friendship! The beauty of true, real friendship (in this case long distance friendships) I always find, is the fact that conversations pick up where we had left them off. Being a transplant in this country, the meaning of friendship is extremely important to me considering my family is on another continent. So friends become family from a distance or when they live close by. Some come, some go and some stay. The distance, even if we do not leave in the same state, the same city does not real matter. We build friendships through time and our everyday lives, sometimes we think we found a true friend only to be let down. It’s a journey and it remains that way through life. I’ve felt through the years the pain of friends moving away for new jobs, wanting to move closer to family or just wanting to experience life in another state, and the pain in my heart was heavy. However wishing them well on their journey and being happy they are pursuing their goals, their dreams is extremely fulfilling and gratifying. We walk the path alone and are blessed when the gift of friendship is given to us each and every time.
The Friends Corner – Great Resources January 6, 2010
Check out our new page with great resources from baby proofing to personal chef services. Want to be added to the list, let me know. Click here
Well, it’s already day #6 in 2010 and I’ve been thinking of this post. What will 2010 bring in terms of new encounters, the forging new friendships, renewing with old friends and acquaintances or will we take stock of who is in our various circles and maintain relationships that nourish us, distance ourselves from those who can potentially drain us and cut those that are toxic to us? Maybe it’ll be a little bit of all of the above but one thing I am personally sure of is that, as I look out the window in this glorious New England winter morning, pure blue skies, sun reflecting off the new snow, I will strive to keep those relationships that feed my soul, warm my heart and keep me going each and everyday, allowing me to keep a positive outlook on life in spite of the craziness that goes on in our world. Staying centered and focused on what is important is key. So to all out there in the websphere, I wish you a very Peaceful, Joyful, Healthy and Happy New Year!
A Good Samaritan’s Gifts December 24, 2009
Yesterday I spent a few hours with my friend Daniele having lunch in Cambridge at a small Mexican Cafe which was absolutely delicious, browsing in a various stores along Massachusetts Avenue between Porter Square and Harvard Square from a furniture shop to a Tibetan one, onto a South American/Mexican store before heading to Davis Square for a latte and more browsing of course. She was telling me that she loves thrift stores so we ventured into a newly opened one and I found an amazing jacket for a bargain perfect to dress up or jazzy up a pair of jeans. Then onto Diesel Cafe for our latte. I had heard from a colleague that their coffee was excellent and in fact to make sure I tasted it, she had bought me a pound of French roast in the fall. While at the counter placing our orders, I scan the shop to see if she was there and she was. Surprise to see me in her neighborhood, she gave me a big hug, said hello to Daniele and we talked about her Christmas Logs she had been baking for everyone for a couple of weeks. Considering Daniele is a personal chef, they talked about the recipe which was mouth-watering. We finally sat down with our lattes which were so delicious neither one of us had to add sugar when a gentleman walked from the back of the room and place envelopes randomly in front of people in the cafe and with a big smile gave me one. On the front he had printed the following:
Be Kind to Each Other,
Be Friends with Each Other,
Show Care to Each Other,
And Give Love Away.
as well as hand-wrote “Happy Holidays”. So at first, we all thought that there might be a religious card inside considering it was a couple of days before Christmas but to our surprise as I opened the envelope, I found a $50!!! I quickly get up and run after him as he was already out of the store, tapped his should and with a smile thanked him simply, he replied with a big smile along with HO!HO!HO!….
As I walked back inside Diesel Cafe, another young lady who had gotten an envelope asked me if I had given it to her. You see people were talking and did not really pay attention when he place the envelope in front of them and kept talking only to realize what a generous gift they had been given. I explained I do not celebrate Christmas, neither did she yet we were both the recipient of this random act of kindness in this holiday season.
So indeed the moral of the story is:
Pay Attention, Give Random Act of Kindness and to quote this anonymous generous man again:
Be Kind to Each Other I would add in a World that seem to spin out of control at times
Be Friends with Each Other and tend the hand of Friendship wherever you are
Show Care to Each Other, have compassion and understanding
And Give Love Away, in any way, shape or form!!
My envelope was #80, my hunch is that he gives out 100…I believe he was featured on a local program, I just happened to be on his path yesterday and more than the money he reminded us to reach out and be kind. If you ever find yourself on his path, take the time to look up, smile, shake his hand and thank him.
In Friendship, Happy Holidays to Everyone whichever you celebrate.
Thoughts of the day: words to describe types of relationship in the friendship arena November 22, 2009
As I was raking the last leaves of the season and cleaning up the yard this afternoon, I was thinking that in French we have in a way three different words to qualify a relationship between two people and to a degree, levels of friendship: “copain” (male) ou “copine” (female), “ami” ou “amie”: and “connaissance”. However in English I came up with two out of the three: friend and acquaintance (#2 and #3), well the word “pal” could be the equivalent to the first in French, Is it really as used as “copain” and “copine” are in France? It can be a more superficial level of friendship, in time and in life. So, in America, the word “friend” is used all the time but I think it has lost and is maybe losing more of its intended meaning with all the social media. Is social media redefining the meaning of the word “friend”? Are people creating networks of acquaintances out there? I found one that is for sale…Interesting!