Pondering September 15, 2011

At what point is a friendship no longer “important, relevant, worth pursuing”? Or is it just a perception? Are we all too caught up in our lives to not keep in touch just because? Can we be surprised by who might step-up to the plate in a time of need (whatever that maybe) and who might not? All those questions come up in my mind on a regular basis as I continue my journey in our very turbulent world and also maybe because I see friendship as a safe heaven, a harbor one can throw his/her anchor in calmer waters. How often do you throw your anchor?

Friendship out-of-step February 3, 2011

Oops, I forgot to publish this…last summer. So here it is. Yesterday was a very gloomy, rainy day and I basically spent the day thinking. While seating at my kitchen table I was reading an article in the latest issue of More magazine on the evolution of friendships through one’s life. It’s a subject that keeps creeping up in my thoughts again and again. As we “finish” raising our children and they move out, how do we walk the path and explore this new territory? Some are in the process of sending their next child to college and feeling another bird is flying away from the nest wanting to take in every precious moment to help them get settled into their new environment before heading back home and feeling the void on one side and the pride of having done the very best to bring the child to this time. The next big separation first pre-school and then college. Today is the beginning of February and we just survived one of the biggest winter storms and we are all reaching our breaking point. Snow, snow and more snow, then sleet and ice and more snow….As I awoke this morning to go teach my very early yoga class after dropping my son and his friend at work, I find that the biggest challenge in those uncertain times is to accept what we cannot control, be present, be kind to ourselves and others. Being on the mat forces us to do just that for that slice of time. While my students were in savasana (corpse/rest pose), I was seating in sukhasana or easy pose, calmer but the thoughts kept coming. Being in my mid-life along with many of my friends, we’re faced with new challenges and decisions. For those of us who came to this country for love, for exploring new horizons and stayed adding to the fabric of this country, for career opportunities, for the love of travel, we are now re-assessing and thinking what’s next? Children are leaving or left the coop, spreading their wings and navigating adulthood while still needing us, we think of our aging parents far away, of our siblings who are also in that next stage and the tug we feel in our hearts and souls to be closer. What to do? Is it easy to pick-up and go back after 15 or 20 years to one’s birth country? Can we feel at home again? Does one have to “relearn” how to live in the country where one was born? Though technologies such as Skype, Facebook etc… have reduced distances, it’s difficult to stop by for dinner or to go to a movie or to land a hand when thousands of miles away. America is far, very big and it can be overwhelming even after many-a-year here. So to all my friends who like me built their life here, I salute you, cherish your friendship and am amazed by your strength and resiliency in the face of adversity. We’ve been through highs and lows, and lows and highs again and again, have weathered many storms, have laughed and cried, have retreated into ourselves to regroup in order to come out stronger. 2011 began and seems to be for many a soul searching one.
Until my next post, stay well and very belatedly to all: HAPPY & HEALTHY & SOULFUL NEW YEAR!

Staying in touch… August 7, 2010

Well, it seems I’ve not stayed in touch through this medium for quite some times. I’m not sure why exactly but here I am on a perfect summer day, blue skies, a nice breeze…perfect. Time is running away and August is well on its way. After a little yoga at home, my husband and I went on a nice bike ride on the Minuteman Bikeway to keep the momentum for our very active vacation last week. We came back last weekend from 7 days in Breckenridge (Colorado) where we met up with friends from all over the country we had not seen in quite some time, for a very fun and active vacation week. We come together for each other in good times and bad….Friendship! The beauty of true, real friendship (in this case long distance friendships) I always find, is the fact that conversations pick up where we had left them off. Being a transplant in this country, the meaning of friendship is extremely important to me considering my family is on another continent. So friends become family from a distance or when they live close by. Some come, some go and some stay. The distance, even if we do not leave in the same state, the same city does not real matter. We build friendships through time and our everyday lives, sometimes we think we found a true friend only to be let down. It’s a journey and it remains that way through life. I’ve felt through the years the pain of friends moving away for new jobs, wanting to move closer to family or just wanting to experience life in another state, and the pain in my heart was heavy. However wishing them well on their journey and being happy they are pursuing their goals, their dreams is extremely fulfilling and gratifying. We walk the path alone and are blessed when the gift of friendship is given to us each and every time.

The Friends Corner – Great Resources January 6, 2010

Check out our new page with great resources from baby proofing to personal chef services. Want to be added to the list, let me know. Click here

What about friendship(s) in 2010?

Well, it’s already day #6 in 2010 and I’ve been thinking of this post. What will 2010 bring in terms of new encounters, the forging new friendships, renewing with old friends and acquaintances or will we take stock of who is in our various circles and maintain relationships that nourish us, distance ourselves from those who can potentially drain us and cut those that are toxic to us? Maybe it’ll be a little bit of all of the above but one thing I am personally sure of is that, as I look out the window in this glorious New England winter morning, pure blue skies, sun reflecting off the new snow, I will strive to keep those relationships that feed my soul, warm my heart and keep me going each and everyday, allowing me to keep a positive outlook on life in spite of the craziness that goes on in our world. Staying centered and focused on what is important is key. So to all out there in the websphere, I wish you a very Peaceful, Joyful, Healthy and Happy New Year!

A Good Samaritan’s Gifts December 24, 2009

Yesterday I spent a few hours with my friend Daniele having lunch in Cambridge at a small Mexican Cafe which was absolutely delicious, browsing in a various stores along Massachusetts Avenue between Porter Square and Harvard Square from a furniture shop to a Tibetan one, onto a South American/Mexican store before heading to Davis Square for a latte and more browsing of course. She was telling me that she loves thrift stores so we ventured into a newly opened one and I found an amazing jacket for a bargain perfect to dress up or jazzy up a pair of jeans. Then onto Diesel Cafe for our latte. I had heard from a colleague that their coffee was excellent and in fact to make sure I tasted it, she had bought me a pound of French roast in the fall. While at the counter placing our orders, I scan the shop to see if she was there and she was. Surprise to see me in her neighborhood, she gave me a big hug, said hello to  Daniele and we talked about her Christmas Logs she had been baking for everyone for a couple of weeks. Considering Daniele is a personal chef, they talked about the recipe which was mouth-watering. We finally sat down with our lattes which were so delicious neither one of us had to add sugar when a gentleman walked from the back of the room and place envelopes randomly in front of people in the cafe and with a big smile gave me one.  On the front he had printed the following:

Be Kind to Each Other,
Be Friends with Each Other,
Show Care to Each Other,
And Give Love Away.

as well as hand-wrote “Happy Holidays”. So at first, we all thought that there might be a religious card inside considering it was a couple of days before Christmas but to our surprise as I opened the envelope, I found a $50!!! I quickly get up and run after him as he was already out of the store, tapped his should and with a smile thanked him simply, he replied with a big smile along with HO!HO!HO!….

As I walked back inside Diesel Cafe, another young lady who had gotten an envelope asked me if I had given it to her. You see people were talking and did not really pay attention when he place the envelope in front of them and kept talking only to realize what a generous gift they had been given. I explained I do not celebrate Christmas, neither did she yet we were both the recipient of this random act of kindness  in this holiday season.

So indeed the moral of the story is:

Pay Attention, Give Random Act of Kindness and to quote this anonymous generous man again:

Be Kind to Each Other I would add in a World that seem to spin out of control at times
Be Friends with Each Other and tend the hand of Friendship wherever you are
Show Care to Each Other, have compassion and understanding
And Give Love Away, in any way, shape or form!!

My envelope was #80, my hunch is that he gives out 100…I believe he was featured on a local program, I just happened to be on his path yesterday and more than the money he reminded us to reach out and be kind. If you ever find yourself on his path, take the time to look up, smile, shake his hand and thank him.

In Friendship, Happy Holidays to Everyone whichever you celebrate.

Thoughts of the day: words to describe types of relationship in the friendship arena November 22, 2009

As I was raking the last leaves of the season and cleaning up the yard this afternoon, I was thinking that in French we have in a way three different words to qualify a relationship between two people and to a degree,  levels of friendship: “copain” (male)  ou “copine” (female), “ami” ou “amie”:  and “connaissance”. However in English I came up with two out of the three: friend and acquaintance (#2 and #3), well the word “pal” could be the equivalent to the first in French, Is it really as used as “copain” and “copine” are in France? It can be a more superficial level of friendship, in time and in life.  So, in America, the word “friend” is used all the time but I think it has lost and is maybe losing more of its intended meaning with all the social media.  Is social media redefining the meaning of the word “friend”? Are people creating networks of acquaintances out there? I found one that is for sale…Interesting!

Celebrate World Kindness Day – November 13, 2009 November 13, 2009

With all the depressing news all the time on the radio, on TV, newspaper, online media, kindness can be in short supply these days. So I find this to be refreshing and allow us to pause maybe for just a moment and extend kindness to everyone we come in contact with today making a conscious effort to do so even if we do not feel like it.

Posted in 2004 on the Hamilton Fish Institute site this is as relevant today as it was then:

Today is World Kindness Day! Join people around the world on this day and commit random acts of kindness! The World Kindness Movement has been growing quickly since 1996 when it was born out of a series of international conferences held in Japan. Each participating country has formed its own national kindness organization. The Random Acts of Kindness Foundation, USA offers a website full of school and community resources: “activity ideas, lesson plans, project plans, teacher’s guide, project planning guide, publicity guide, and workplace resources.” Click there today to see how you can spread kindness in your world.

http://www.actsofkindness.org/

In kindness, enjoy this day and everyday!!!

Friendship in-memoriam September 1, 2009

For the last few years, I have been trying to get in-touch with my best friend from my adolescent years, surfing the web, searching on major social networking sites, online white pages to no avail. A little more than a week ago, his daughter’s name came to mind and I decided to check on Facebook if she was there. Indeed she was. To confirm it was indeed her, I sent an email and received an answer the very next day. My husband and I were driving somewhere and I decided to check my mail on my cellphone (of course I was the passenger…).  As my email loaded, my heart skipped a bit as I saw she had replied but very quickly my heart sank, literally, as I proceeded to read her reply. Yes, it was indeed her, letting me know that her father would have loved to reconnect but unfortunately had died four years earlier from cancer, and as I understood from her message, it happened very quickly. A flood of memories, souvenirs came rushing as my heart flooded and my eyes filled with tears. A chapter from my life’s book was closed forever. Though we never lived in the same city, I in the South of France , he in Paris, we were very close. I used to take the train which at the time was not the TGV, and visit him in Paris. We would walk around the city for hours, talking talks of teenagers, life ahead of us dreaming, rebuilding the world to our liking. He loved his city, made me discover the Memorial des Martyrs de la Deportation (Memorial to the 200000 people who were deported to concentration camps during WWII) behind Notre Dame, the Place de Furstenberg which is a jewel like a theater decor, home of Delacroix,  the flea market, the Latin Quarter, the Jardin du Luxembourg , Tuileries Gardens and so much more. Now in our mid-life what would have been our conversations should we have found each-other again looking towards the second-half of our journey on this earth? He never came to visit me in the USA probably because we lost touch and our realities were so different but the bond of our youth was still there when we saw each other in Paris with our children and our partners in the late 90s.

So my dear friend, it’s very belatedly that I wish you a peaceful eternal rest.

It is humbling to realize that, no matter where you are in the world, cancer when it strikes does not discriminate. It’s devastating, painful for those who are striken and for those who love them, who care for them, for those who overcome the disease and we celebrate their victories, their strength and for those who do not, we mourn them, celebrate their life and contributions, hold them in our heart and soul but let them go in peace to their eternal rest.

On another scale, this past week we all bid farewell to Ted Kennedy who also lost his battle with cancer. As I watched the proceeding on TV, seeing thousands of people lining the streets, paying their respect either at the Kennedy Library or outside the Mission Hill Church, along the way under pouring rain when the procession was going to Hanscom Airforce Base and fly him to his final resting place at Arlington Cemetery, on the street of Washington DC, near or far, everyone felt a connection, a level of friendship to this so imperfect giant in Massachusetts, American and World History. To quote so many: “smooth sailing Teddy, smooth sailing!”.

So today, try to reconnect with long-lost friends, even for a moment, reach out, and send good thoughts, energy and wishes. As for everyday, smile, reach out, contribute, fundraise, take care of your health, and be counted!

In this sunny and brisk New England end-of-summer day, my thoughts and prayers go to a special friend who is dealing with this disease.

Friendship through sickness. August 17, 2009

This morning I received an email from a friend of mine who is a personal chef, Queen of the Pantry,and she mentioned that she is presently cooking for a friend of hers who is battling pancreatic cancer. My heart sunk and it reminded me when I, along with other people, was a care taker for a dear friend who battled a rare cancer, thymus carcinoma, almost nine years ago. After her sudden diagnosis, she had pulled together a group of trusted acquaintances and friends whom she knew would be there for her in one role or another through this ordeal which eventually claimed her life…too soon! Besides being beautiful she was also one of the most intelligent people I had ever met, both left and right brain, well read, talented and extremely charismatic. She had such an aura, when she walked into a room, people noticed. She organized us so some of us would be with her at her appointments, others would do the food shopping, others would cook and be there for her etc…Over the course of her illness, I cooked for her but what resonated most with her was my soup. A  vegetable soup my mother made all my life growing up in France, using a pressure cooker to keep all the nutrients in. It’s a basic soup but it always made her feel good as it was easy to digest as I blend it using a hand blender.  My father used to say that if one has bread, soup and water on the table it meets one’s basic needs for a meal; simple, but I thing true. 

So in the spirit of friendship, here is my version of the basic soup recipe:

5 potatoes
2 sweet potatoes
3 carrots
1 leek
Celery leaves
some lettuce or escarole leaves
Salt
Pepper

Wash and peel vegetables then cover them with water in a pot or in the pressure cooker and cook until all vegetables are soft. If using a pressure cooker, wait until all the steam is out before opening the pot. If cooking the conventional way, wait until all vegetables are soft and then use the hand blender to create a soft soup. When serving, you can add a drop of olive oil or a tea spoon of crème fraiche.

I start making this soup in the fall and do so all the way through the spring. There is nothing like a good soup to warm your heart and soul and to feed a sick friend.

In friendship, enjoy!!